Napoleon Dynamite vs. The Boy

Ian is told quite often that he looks like Napoleon Dynamite. He finds this offensive. He does not look like Napoleon Dynamite. He looks like John Heder, the actor that plays Napoleon Dynamite. That is totally different! So, I decided to look into this. Does Ian really look like John Heder? You be the judge.

Barney's Going to School

This weekend is Labor Day, and so, in preparation for the labor that I need to put in on Monday in order to be ready for school, I just played this weekend.

Friday I had a sleepover with Juliana at my house! It's been a long time since I've had a sleepover and I had a great time. She also helped me out with some of my school stuff (three cheers for volunteers!)

Saturday, my family got together to go swimming in Bountiful and have a barbecue. Ian and I mostly just rode down the water slide together. Ian got really fast at it, and we decided it had to do with the extra pounds he's carrying. He had a pretty smooth ride.

That evening, Mom and I went out into the garage to find some toys for my classroom. Ian came out and found his Barney doll, the one that he was attached to as a two year old. He was really excited about it, "This doll was like half my size. I loved this doll!" He was so excited, he's taking it to school on Monday. That's right... he's a junior in high school and he's taking his Barney doll. That takes one very secure sixteen year old to take a Barney doll to school. He promised to take pictures.

By the way, Ian has started his own blog www.thelifeoftheboy.blogspot.com.

We're still awaiting his first post... but I know it's coming soon! (hint hint)

Hallelujah!

Today I found out that they have decided to add a kindergarten class! Woo Hoo! I'm not sure how they are going to decide which children will be moving to the new class, but I am glad that I don't have to make that decision! All I know is that our class sizes our coming down! Hallelujah!

Also, I don't know why I was chosen to be so lucky, but I was given a sweet fan today. It has felt so much better in our warm little classroom. What a great day!

Kindergarten SuperStar

So, I am a Kindergarten Superstar! It's kind of fun to be a teacher returning to school for the first time. Last week, while cleaning up my classroom, I saw a couple of children walking out near the street. One of them looked over and started yelling, "It's her! It's her! Kolbe, it's her!!" They ran clear over to see me. Kolbe was one of my students last year and I was so excited to see him.
While doing assessments today, my students from last year in the classroom across the hall kept waving to say hi. In the hallways before school, I found several of my children that ran up to say hi. Then, while doing an assessment just after school, I noticed two of my students from last year peering in the windows and making comments, "She cut her hair! It's shorter." I've never been so noticed in my life, not even by five year olds.
And the best moment of all came from another teacher. I had had a child last year that was left handed and his mom was always concerned about making sure he was using the correct hand. So, I gave this teacher a die cut hand to put on his desk to remind him. The teacher said that she put that on his desk today and told him, "Miss Parrish asked me to put this here to remind you to use your left hand." She told me that when he heard that, he grinned, and his mom smiled. On his first day of first grade, he knew that his teacher loved him. I hope I can be a Kindergarten SuperStar for life.

Crayons and Husbands

Ah, the first day of school has arrived, and ironically, my nerves have actually calmed down a great deal. The children were kind of therapeutic today. Maybe that's because I had them one on one since I was doing assessments today, but it was nice. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that when the children are there, I don't have any energy left over to fuss about me. It's all about them.
I had a child draw me a beautiful picture today. While Clarissa's mother and I were discussing her goals for the next trimester, she drew a picture of me with my husband. I ought to take a picture of it tomorrow and put it up. My husband is tall and very red, with a large tuft of fire engine red hair. He is a looker and I am excited for the day that I get to meet him!

The Unmarked White Van

Today Mom and I went to pick up the tables. We were told that they wanted them out of the school tomorrow, so after searching for a vehicle, we settled on our personal, "white, unmarked van." I thought it was kind of funny so I took a picture of it.

New Tables and Crowded Classrooms

My classroom has four long rectangular tables. I have it set up so that there is room for six children on every table. Unfortunately, the parents of kindergartners neglect to register their children until three days before school starts, so now I have more children in my classroom than I do desks. This fact gives me nightmares and night sweats and day sweats and such.
But it's okay because today I talked to my principal and apparently, if I get up to 27 children in my class, I get an aide and if I get up to 30, we get a new teacher! (Hallelujah!) So, ironically, I'm now no longer hoping for small class sizes, I'm rooting for as many kids as possible. You have kids out of boundary? Not a problem! I know where you can attend! Your children just barely miss the age deadline, it's all right, close enough! You feel like your child is not ready for first grade and want to hold them back? Now's the time!
So, the best news though is that my Aunt Allison is getting rid of some small round tables for her classroom at a different school. And today, she told me that I can take them from her school to mine! Woo hoo! Now I'll have enough seats for all of my children! I was so excited, I kind of danced down the hall. Ron, a custodian caught me, and just said, "It's all right. I won't tell anyone."

kindergartners say the darndest things

Another school year is about to start, and as a natural result, I'm losing me sanity. It's okay though, because for some reason, I really do love to teach. I thought about that tonight... I love teaching kindergarten. (Further evidence I've lost my mind). Anyway, I was thinking back on some of all of the funny things kids have said to me in the past school year, and I thought I should record these. So, this list is short now (since it's off the top of my head) but I will add to it throughout the school year.

1. "Miss Parrish, where did you get this shaving cream? You're not married!"
"I bought it at the store"
"Did they think you were weird?"
"No, they thought it was for my husband."
"Oh, okay." -Kylee
2. "Miss Parrish, I'll miss you when you're dead." -Vanya
3. "Does anyone have a question?" -asked by Mr. Adams in front of a group of 40 kindergartners. They responded in synchrony with 40 hands raising at exactly the same time. Not one of them had a question.
4. "Miss Parrish! I keep throwing my backpack at the tree, but the pine cones won't come out!!"
"Why do you think that is John?"
"Because the backpack's not hitting the pinecones!!"
(It never occurred to him that you might not want to tell that to the teacher. This was before school, so I just tried to pretend it never happened.)
5. "Did you know tomorrow is T day?" -Alex It's a good thing he said something. If I hadn't planned it that way, I never would have known.
6. While completing the kindergarten assessment for the year, the children were required to write their numbers from 1-30. Kylee wrote the numbers 1-22, and then she wrote the number 23 two times. She then looked at me and said, "Weird. There's two twenty threes." Well she continued on filling in the little boxes. When she got to the end, she smiled and said, "You thought there were going to be 30, huh."
7. "Miss Parrish, Elijah peed on my hand!"
"I had to! I really had to go and he wouldn't move out of my way!" (What is the appropriate way to respond to a comment like that? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it was not in any of my education texts.)
8. "Miss Parrish, my sister says you're not really 72."
"She's never met me yet."
"That's right!" -Vanya
9. While teaching a lesson on addition, I had the children using small pieces of yarn as worms. I gave them a green piece of paper, and a brown one. I then had them solve simple story problems like this, "I had three worms in the grass. (pause) Put three worms in the grass. (pause) That's the green paper. Okay. Now I have two worms on the dirt. (pause) How many worms do I have? (pause) No, it's not 8... let's count it together."
After a few problems, Tevita, one of my brightest children responded by saying, "I never knew math could be hard."
10. "Miss Parrish, did you know that cat and hat rhyme?" Alex
11. When teaching the five senses, I needed a song, which I came up with at midnight, and then sang over and over so I wouldn't forget it. Due to the repetition, the Boy requested that I never sing it again. (Meaning everytime I started he would groan, "Not again!") Well, a few months later, long after we'd learned the song, I asked the children for requests. The 5 senses song was one of them. After singing it, a couple of children commented on it, "I love this song."
"Yeah, me too. I sing it in the bathtub."
"Me too!"
12. "Miss Parrish, I know why they call Mrs. Hansen Mrs Hansen!"
"Why is that, John?"
"Because she's married!!"

Meshach Adventures

My car is named Meshach. This came about because of The Boy. I came home and told him that I wanted to name my car and that he should help me name it. His response (in his Napoleon voice) was, "When I name things, I like to go Biblical." So, we named it Meshach. But then, how do you convince everyone else to call the car Meshach? Well, I'll tell you how. We decided that when anyone asked me or Ian about the car, we would answer, "You mean Meshach?" And the other one, hearing this cue would respond by yelling "Meshach!!" in kind of a strained, excited voice. It caught on. In fact, a few days later, Mom said something about Meshach in the kitchen, and from the bathroom we heard the Boy's voice yelling, "Meshach!" We love Meshach.



Today, however, Meshach and I had an adventure. I went to a very long training for school. It was a good training, but I left feeling overwhelmed. I went to Wal-Mart to buy some things for my classroom. However, as I got out of Meshach, I somehow dropped her keys onto the seat, and then by habit, locked the doors. I left my meeting at 3:15. I went to Wal-Mart. After I bought the things I needed, I pondered my predicament, and called my mom about 5 thousand times. She didn't answer. I called my Aunt Allison for ideas. She did answer. I called the West Jordan police. They also answered, and told me they would send me an officer to help. I waited for an hour. By this time, it was 5:20 and I was really hot.
Well, those police officers definitely have some skills... some sweet door opening skills. About five minutes later, my keys were out, bless their hearts, and I was on my way! Woohoo!

Exotic Animal Hunt

About two weeks ago, well, maybe more, my family and I went to the zoo. It was probably the hottest day of the entire summer, and yet there we were at good old Hogle Zoo. I'll have you know that the zoo is hard to find. You see, I found out how to get to the zoo on Mapquest, and I felt like I was following the directions pretty well. There were even reassuring signs along the way that had pictures of animals at Hogle Zoo on every street corner... for awhile. And then those signs became fewer and fewer, with no signs to point out that you should have turned. After awhile I decided I was lost, and decided to stop at McDonald's and ask directions, but I forgot that McDonald's is a foreign land. It looks like an American company. All of the menus are in English and it was started by an American, but it's not American. All of the people speak Spanish. And they don't know where Hogle Zoo is. It's okay, because people that go to McDonald's believe that it's an American company, and so there are English speakers driving through the drivethrough, only to find out that it's a foreign land. They know where Hogle Zoo is.
Anyway, to make a long story short, we went to Hogle Zoo, and we saw exotic animals of many kinds and varieties. The Boy and I have done you all the pleasure of giving you a personal tour of the exotic animals. Enjoy!

My life is ending

My life is ending tomorrow. That's right... I'm going back to school, a world full of planning, and preparation, and nightmares. I only pray that the nightmares will subside once I've met my children for the year. My mom is even getting nightmares by proxy.
Every day this past week I've gone to school. Not that I have to, but you see, there's a lot to do. And... there's the nightmares... and those convince me that I had better fuss and plan all I can in hopes that it won't happen in real life. But it doesn't help, because I watch all of the families walk past my classroom with their darling little five year olds to register for kindergarten. Even though they were supposed to come in March. And then I fret about how many more are coming and I count the desks again and I start to sweat. Because my life is ending tomorrow.